There are a lot of things that can make you feel bitter inside your marriage. Imagine two imperfect people living in one roof and exposing each other’s strengths and weaknesses, these could stumble both of you. If you could enumerate valid reasons to be bitter, a day is not enough. Bitterness is the main reason why most marriages die, and we have to stop it through forgiveness.
It’s really hard to forgive, most especially when you felt like you were treated unfairly by your spouse and you can’t do anything about it because you were just silent, not knowing that you’re already piling up grudges in your heart against your spouse. This is one of the mistakes married people usually encounter. Being passive can’t help your marriage grow, it can only break your marriage. Learn how to handle misunderstandings by discussing about it without being consumed by anger or hatred. Remember it’s not okay to be consumed with your emotions in a discussion. Let it cool down first. As a human, anger is a natural reaction whenever a person has been treated unfairly or wrong things has been done by the other party. But remember in the scripture Ephesians 4:26 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. It’s okay to be angry but make sure you won’t be consumed by your anger. It’s really hard to let it go with your own strength that is why the Holy Spirit was deposited to us by our Lord Jesus Christ so that we will be guided in every situation that we’ll be having and that includes bitterness.
Is it really hard to forgive? Yes and no. Yes, if you are just thinking about yourself alone and if you are being self-centered. No, if you choose to let go of your pride and allow forgiveness to sink in each other’s heart. Forgiveness is a choice, though you may not feel like it but you have to forgive. In Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Keep in mind that God has given you His forgiveness even if you are unworthy, and that’s because He loves you. Let the love of God arise in your marriage. Surrender your bitterness to God and allow Him to heal you from the inside out, and choose to forgive your spouse even if it’s contradictory to your heart’s desire. As you do this, you’ll surely receive breakthrough and inner peace. How good it is to sleep together without any grudges and just enjoying the love of God through your marriage. After all, God wants both of you to be joyful in His presence together, not to be bitter but to be better.