INFIDELITY during marriage : Overcoming it


Nowadays, you cannot easily spot a husband or wife capable of infidelity. On some cases, say the couple may still love each other and not fallen out of love, but sometimes they just tend to become displeased with their current set-up and situation. Upon settling down and started having kids, the priority and focus are now centered in providing the needs of the family and focusing in raising their children. They tend to agonize in silence, believing they can’t get what they want from their spouses. This situation will lead to lack of open communication between the couple where romance is also starting to fade. In search of emotional connection, a third party commonly fill-in the attention, flattery and romance which is not present in the relationship anymore. Infidelity is not all about sex, instead, it is about the unmet needs and intimacy.

Infidelity can destroy even the toughest relationship, causing feelings of betrayal of trust, guilt, and rage. If you happen to know that your husband is cheating on you, it is extremely difficult to overcome the feeling of betrayal and anger. If your husband is not faithful, it’s not your fault, but the wife should also realize and reflect on her own with regards to her shortcomings in their marriage. The “fault or shortcomings” could be the sign of the disconnections which has been ignored by the couple.

Here are some ways in recovering from Infidelity:

  1. Be determined, clarify your purpose. You must have a firm and clear purpose. When hurt, you may tend to think about the problem. Bringing up the past and continuously recycling about the problem can worsen the agony. Just keep your focus on the solution you are looking into and you will certainly get concrete answers.  For all you know, a couple may find that they have grown closer.
  2. Cultivate a more meaningful and special level of emotional intimacy. To get over or rebuild a relationship after infidelity, you must be more willing to be emotionally intimate with each other. This include, spending more quality time together, open communication in sharing your lives with each other, be more passionate and more giving.
  3. Always be together in doing tasks. Couples that are spending time together, sharing their mutual interest has the bigger chance of recovering from infidelity rapidly and successfully. Hobbies need not to be very expensive, It could just be a simple gardening or watching a romantic dvd at home.
  4. Reminisce how your love started. It feels good for the couple to reminisce their courtship days and how their love blossomed, how did they fall in love? What do you like about each other? In here, you will also realize everything that you’ve been through at the start of the relationship and how you surmount the challenges along the way. This will give the couple a chance to become closer to each other again.
  5. Don’t bother asking details about the thing you don’t need to know. Don’t ask your partner further details of the sexual encounter nor compare yourself with the third party whom they had an affair with. CONCENTRATE ON THE RELATIONSHIP and MARRIAGE, not on the third party.
  6. Compromise yourself to the relationship. Healing is not that easy. There needs to be an earnest desire in saving the marriage and commit yourself of your loyalty to your partner – with a promise that an affair shall never happen again.
  7. Renew your Vows. Start anew, remember how it all began let go of the past and forgive. Pray together and let go of old thoughts, behaviors and anything that brings back the thirst for infidelity. Replace them with the memories of the good times that you had as a couple.
  8. Seek out new Couple Friends. Look for a role model, a new couple relationships would be nice, a couple who has been together for a long time and has passed all the temptation of infidelity with flying colors will help your relationship heal and move up to the next level.

These eight steps can help a couple recover from the clutches of infidelity but you must remember, for them to work you must make sure that both of you are on board and in agreement that you are willing to fix it and be together to work it out not just for the children but for the both of you and remember, just like any hurdles or bumps in life “This too shall Pass “.

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