5 Habits to Break for a Healthier Marriage Part2

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There is no perfect marriage. And in case you didn’t get the memo, husband and wife aren’t perfect either. The issue is that most of us don’t understand relationship maintenance at all or how to care for each other past the first blush of heat.

Just like good nutrition and regular exercise can help you to have a healthy body, there are things you can do to have a healthy marriage.

Habit 4: Venting to your public

Neither your social media status nor your friend’s inbox is the place to release your frustrations with your spouse. Turning your latest frustration into a Facebook post isn’t about releasing what bugs you. It’s really more about amassing a team of folks on ‘your side’ who can validate your feelings. If you’re annoyed with your spouse, tell your spouse.

Habit 5: Overconfidence

Even the healthiest marriages need tending. When things are going good and we’re happily in love with one another, it’s easy to coast. Don’t. Make time to spend together. Talk about the things that make you happy, as well as the things that don’t. Compliment your spouse. Pray for each other. Evaluate your relationship habits and see where you can improve. Your marriage is always a work in progress.

Challenge: What habit do you need to break? What steps will you take to break it? Talk to your spouse and ask for support in making the change.

5 Habits to Break for a Healthier Marriage Part1

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The key to nurturing a healthy marriage lies as much in what you should not do as it does in what you should do. We’ve talked a lot recently about steps you should take, like how to   fight fairer and communicate more clearly. Let’s look at the other side of the coin. If you’ve got one of these 5 bad habits, it’s time to break it.

Habit 1: The affair with your phone (and other tech)

We live in a world of constant connectedness. It reminds me of a recent exchange on Facebook. A friend posted, as he often does, “Out to breakfast with my wife.” Another person replied, “Shouldn’t you be talking to your wife instead of posting about it?” When you’re with your spouse, or anyone else for that matter, put the phone away. Focus on the person sitting with you right now.

Habit 2: Peacekeeping

A quest to avoid all disagreement is unrealistic. Consistently biting your tongue and acquiescing to avoid conflict will breed resentment. Critiquing your spouse’s method of folding laundry is not a battle worth having. Feeling overwhelmed by your to-do list and wishing you had more assistance is a dialogue you need to have.

Habit 3: Comparing your spouse / relationship

Have you had one of those “Why aren’t you more like him/her” moments? That trait or exchange you are wistfully eyeing and wishing for in your own life was a single snapshot moment in someone else’s. You’re not seeing their whole reality. Don’t covet what you imagine exists. Step back and focus on what is wonderful in your own relationship with your own spouse.

 

4 Secrets to a Successful Long Distance Relationship

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Long distance relationship is something that requires too much trust and great faithfulness. You cannot deny the fact that both of you in a long distance relationship are prone to temptation and misunderstanding. But there are four secrets to have a successful kind of this relationship.
There is no “normal” relationship. 
You need to remind yourself that there is no normal relationship and everyone has its unique story to tell. There are times that your situation is similar to one relationship but it will not be always the same. You also need to remember that both of you are not perfect so it is ok to forgive and forget something that is in the past. While away from each other, talking about the flaws from the past cannot make a relationship stronger and longer.
Open communication
Communication is very important especially if you are away from each other. Constant updates are good to keep the trust and doubt will not settle in. Using the social media sites is a very good way for you to communicate everyday anywhere and everywhere without too much hassle.
There will be doubt, but do not let it stop you.
There are times that you find yourself doubtful but listen to him first before concluding. Feeding yourself negative thoughts will never help your relationship and that will cause you stress or depression instead. Sleepless nights at first is very normal but you need to remind yourself about your love for each other and do not think of those things that both of you will not trust each other.
Keep the romance alive.
Do not forget that you are his best friend no matter what and you are always there to listen virtually since you are far from each other. Always remind your partner that you trust him, you care for him, you miss him and above all else you love him. Saying these things will give both of you comfort while you are still away.
Long-distance relationships can be hard on anyone, but these secrets can help you get through the tough times. Remember to put God always in the center of your relationship.

Being Consistent Part2

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Being consistent on what you are already doing is a very important thing. You need to be focused on what you do and you need inspirations like your partner and your children to keep you going. Continue to be a loving partner and a loving parent. Your family will always thank God because of your life and you just continue to do your responsibilities to them. Remind yourself that you are one of their inspirations too and the center of your relationship will always be God.
Lastly, be consistent on what you really want to happen in the future, not just for your family but also for yourself. Be consistent and as much as you can, do not change plans especially if there are influences from others. Depend on God’s revelation and always be transparent to your partner. Always remember that you are not alone and both of you can make a decision. Advice from others may help you make decisions but God’s revelation is the most important thing. Just be consistent of being dependent to God.  Consistency is essential in one’s everyday life.
Goal setting for your family with your partner is an important thing to do. Others forget to talk about their plans and even what they feel that is why other couples tend to have doubts or do not have full trust to their partner. Always ask the Lord to guide you in every plans and decisions you make.

Being Consistent Part1

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Life is more wonderful when you have something you are looking forward to especially in your marriage life. Goal setting is not just all about the desire of better things to happen in the future but it is also talks about planning to achieve greater things and putting deadline when will it happen.
In marriage, goal setting is very important because you are foreseeing what will happen in the future and it is much better if you are doing it according to the Word of God. Talking about goals, consistency is very important; being consistent on what you really want, being consistent on what you are already doing, and being consistent on what you really want to happen in your future.
Being consistent on what you really want means whatever may other things come, you will never change your mind because you are sure with what you chose. Like for instance, you want to establish Godly rules inside your home especially to your children who are more expose to worldly things.
You want to be consistent to your rules as a parent such as giving them curfew time, proper way of using social media accounts and to dress accordingly. These are just few of the things you need to implement inside your home and you just only want to protect your family that is why you are doing these.

Overcoming Conflicts Between A Married Couple

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Conflicts are normal in a marriage for these can help you grow together as a couple.
But if both of you don’t know how to handle or overcome conflicts, you might end up hurting each other that can lead you through making wrong decisions.
To overcome conflicts, first, you need to have an open COMMUNICATION.
Conflicts can never be solved with silence, you need to talk it over and don’t let them stay until the sunlight comes up.
In the scripture Ephesians 4:26-27 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.
You have to understand that you made a vow with each other and before the Lord that you will stay together through thick and thin, so whenever you’ll encounter disagreements, don’t sleep until the problem has been solved.
Your marriage is more important than your pride. Don’t make any decisions when you are consumed by your emotions. Don’t let the enemy stir up the word “divorce” in your marriage because that is not the solution.
In Matthew 19:6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Believe that God has joined you together as one intentionally with a purpose, and that is to make God known in your marriage.
Second, you have to be more UNDERSTANDING with each other. 
Realize that your spouse is not perfect. He or she has also has his or her own lapses but that shouldn’t be the basis of your love for him or her. God has united you together to fill each other’s gap.
According to Ephesians 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Choose to forgive your spouse like how God forgave you.
Lastly, you have to LOVE EACH OTHER WITH GOD’s LOVE.
In Romans 5:8 “ but God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” He decided to love us despite of who we are and not we ought to be. If we’ll love our spouse with a human love then I believe we won’t survive, because human love is selfish but the love of God is unconditional and selfless. So we have to ask God to be the vessel of His love towards our spouse.
Marriage is a teamwork, both of you should pay the price, this team won’t work if the both of you doesn’t understand your goal. Your goal is to glorify God in your marriage. Give your best for this marriage to grow.
Philippians 4:13 “I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.” You have to understand that the strength that your marriage has should come from our Lord Jesus Christ. He should be the foundation of your marriage for there is no firmer foundation than Jesus Himself.

Relationship Problems and Solutions Part 2

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Every relationships are different. But a strong connection between two persons, it can comfort to know that you are not alone in life. Communication is the key to make strong any relationship. Because we share our feeling, problems, matters with each others everyday. Couples who learn to solve problems constructively together cut their risk for stress-related health problems including depression, cardiovascular disease, and lowered immunity.

Here are the common relationship problems and the solutions:

Transparency VS Doubt
You cannot blame yourself if sometimes you doubt your spouse especially if he is not transparent to you. The common reason why couple end up their relationship is because there is no more trust and there are many times that one has no time to explain his side. Conclusions were made without even listening to one another.
For you not to doubt your spouse, be transparent so that he will be transparent to you as well. You love each other so all you have to do is to understand each other. When you have something to doubt, confront your partner so that you will not think of the negative ones. Confrontation and communication will always be the key.

Money
Money is very important in any status in life- single or married. Money is one of the main reasons why a married couple is always fighting and blaming each other. Sometimes, one is very secretive about the compensation received and one is very investigative about how much will get.
The solution is both of you should be transparent and should lay all the information about your incomes. You are already in one flesh so there should not be greediness between the two of you and you do not give an enemy a foothold in your relationship especially in this issue.

Relationship Problems and Solutions Part 1

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There is no perfect relationship even if you consider your relationship as a God centered one because everyone knows that no one is perfect and everyone is always on the process of being better each day; either you are married or still single. When problems arise, you do not have to worry much and all you need to do is to work our together and help each other for a healthy relationship.
Communication
Even if you are already married, there are still same things that you need to take good care of like your career. You are busy when you were still single and how much more of being a married one already. Communication is really an issue arising especially if you do not have much time for your spouse. You will experience a lot of adjustments and time managements as this is one of the things you encounter in your first phase in your married life. You will have misunderstanding because of this but actually you can fix this over a cup of coffee and a smooth conversation.
Manage your time and as much as possible update your spouse about your day plan or schedule. You are already married so your new responsibility is to update each other. Have time for each other and it does not mean that you need to always dine in a fine restaurant, you can just watch your favorite show or before going to sleep you talk many things like your plans and experiences.

Marriage Mistakes

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There is no perfect marriage but a wife and a husband can be a better partner by trying the best to make their relationship stronger, healthier and happier. These are the problems a marriage possibly exist and these are also the things you need to do to overcome them:
Telling Your Friends About Your Problems
Friends can be your crying shoulder when things go wrong. You can ask for advice but actually you do not have to tell all the details of your problem to a point that your friends will hate your spouse. Mostly women do this, if there is a problem in their marriage, they usually go to their friends but telling only the one side of the story. You should avoid that because it will not fix the problem, it will make the problem worse. Sometimes, you do not actually ask for advice, you just want to hear someone agreeing you.
Expecting Him to Change
Do not expect him to change the way you want it to be. Changing him to be your ideal husband is not good. In the first place,you marry him because you accept who he is and you love just the way he is. He is not a robot that you can program a quality that you want in him as your husband. Do not expect him to change but help him to be a better person.
Connecting With Your Spouse
Connection is very important in marriage and it should be present everyday of your life. Without connection, it is very impossible to move forward as well as achieving your plans in the future together. You need to have a constant communication especially about what is going on to your individual life and you should not sleep or end your day without talking anything you want to say. Others forget to be honest and transparent to their spouse, worse is, others forget to ask help to their spouse especially when problems arise. You need to remember that you are not only in a relationship, you are also in a partnership forever.
Selfishness
Once you are committed to someone especially in marriage, being selfish is a no no. This time, you should not think for your own benefit but you should also consider your spouse. Before making a decision, you should ask or consult your spouse before giving your final answer. Selflessness is a key for an effective and happy marriage life. Love is never selfish.

A Healthy Relationship

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You cannot love someone if you do not love yourself first. You cannot give something that you do not have, right? If you want to have a healthy relationship with someone, you need to have a healthy self-esteem first before having a relationship with someone. How will you know if you are ready for commitment or ready for marriage? These are the things you need to check on yourself:
Your Mood
Everyone loves hearing compliments from other people. But what if others are saying negative things against you? Does it change your mood? You will know if you are ready for a relationship or you are already mature if you know how to control your emotion especially if you will hear something you do not want to hear.
Controlling yourself not to get angry easily is one proof that you are a mature person. Instead of confronting that someone, you manage not to care about it and you just live your own life that way you want. You can manage a relationship if you know how to manage yourself in the first place.
Others’ Reaction
Do you always find yourself pleasing everyone? Do their reactions really affect your entire day? You cannot please everybody so you do not have to think of others’ reaction if they see a quality from you that they do not like. Nobody is perfect so what they can do is accept your flaws or imperfections. Even themselves are not perfect too so you do not have to worry about that.
You will find yourself mature or ready for a relationship if you know that no one is perfect but everyone can do their best to be a better person before and during the stage of marriage.
Capability
Do you picture yourself entering marriage? Do you see it for a lifetime? There are individuals that they choose to get married because they just want companion but actually they are not yet capable to give out love because they do not even ready to commit. They still need to give time for themselves to be ready for it and to know exactly what marriage is all about. Marriage is really a big word that you cannot jump into it anytime you want.
Responsibility 
Are you ready for a bigger responsibility? In marriage, you just do not need to think of your own good but for your partner’s as well. Before entering to marriage, you need to check yourself if you are ready for a bigger responsibilities and these responsibilities are mostly new to you. You need to have a bigger understanding first before entering the life of being married.