You cannot love someone if you do not love yourself first. You cannot give something that you do not have, right? If you want to have a healthy relationship with someone, you need to have a healthy self-esteem first before having a relationship with someone. How will you know if you are ready for commitment or ready for marriage? These are the things you need to check on yourself:
Everyone loves hearing compliments from other people. But what if others are saying negative things against you? Does it change your mood? You will know if you are ready for a relationship or you are already mature if you know how to control your emotion especially if you will hear something you do not want to hear.
Controlling yourself not to get angry easily is one proof that you are a mature person. Instead of confronting that someone, you manage not to care about it and you just live your own life that way you want. You can manage a relationship if you know how to manage yourself in the first place.
Do you always find yourself pleasing everyone? Do their reactions really affect your entire day? You cannot please everybody so you do not have to think of others’ reaction if they see a quality from you that they do not like. Nobody is perfect so what they can do is accept your flaws or imperfections. Even themselves are not perfect too so you do not have to worry about that.
You will find yourself mature or ready for a relationship if you know that no one is perfect but everyone can do their best to be a better person before and during the stage of marriage.
Do you picture yourself entering marriage? Do you see it for a lifetime? There are individuals that they choose to get married because they just want companion but actually they are not yet capable to give out love because they do not even ready to commit. They still need to give time for themselves to be ready for it and to know exactly what marriage is all about. Marriage is really a big word that you cannot jump into it anytime you want.
Are you ready for a bigger responsibility? In marriage, you just do not need to think of your own good but for your partner’s as well. Before entering to marriage, you need to check yourself if you are ready for a bigger responsibilities and these responsibilities are mostly new to you. You need to have a bigger understanding first before entering the life of being married.
One of the most common marital speed bumps can be found in the checkbook. You may assume that tension is a natural consequence when money is tight – and it certainly can be. What we don’t realize, even when we’re in the midst of it, is that different money management styles can cause friction in a fiscally secure marriage too.
When Spender Marries Saver
After the church offering is given and the bills are paid, what do you do? Do you transfer some of the money remaining to savings or investments? Or, are you an innate spender? Does having a little left-over mean it’s time to splurge on something you wouldn’t normally indulge in? The real issue isn’t how you answer, actually. It’s how you and your spouse answer. When you have two different approaches, tensions can arise. Take a moment to sit down and talk this one out. Make a plan you can both be happy with in the short and long terms.
Mine. No Ours.
Whether you’re a single-income or dual-income family, take note, whatever money comes into the household is household money. Shift the focus of your fiscal conversations from “mine and yours” to “ours.” When we keep score of who earns what, resentment can rear its ugly head – whether it’s the urge to pull rank on spending decisions or insecurity over how much you contribute to the family bottom line. Remember that family support and contribution is much more than what’s in a paycheck. Don’t keep score.
Hopefully you sat down and talked about short- and long-range plans before you got married. This is a good thing to do several times a year throughout your marriage too. Get on the same page. Are you saving for a home? Should your family budget include line items to save for college and retirement? Do you want to go on a vacation? Are you concerned about how much you’re spending on entertainment vs. squirreling away for a rainy day? Carve time out to discuss the family’s overall budget needs. Pray over it and then commit to a plan you can both live with.
Challenge: Like most anything in a marriage, money can be the elephant in the room that we tend to ignore. Take time this week to discuss your family budget. Work as a team to identify a budget you can both be happy with.
I’ve been thinking about Joseph. We sing about baby Jesus, Mary, shepherds and their flocks, three kings of Orient, a drummer boy and a host of angels. But we don’t typically strike many notes in honor of Joseph. It’s not just the songs, either. In the Bible, we only read of his reaction to the news of Mary’s pregnancy in Matthew. The only other Gospel to write of the Christ birth, Luke, doesn’t mention Joseph until the young couple is packing their bags for Bethlehem. He’s almost the forgotten man in the Christmas story. Yet, Joseph has a lot to teach us.
Respect and Honor
When Joseph first learns of Mary’s pregnancy he contemplates divorce. Matthew tells us that Joseph was faithful to the law, but because he did not want to disgrace Mary, he plans to do so quietly. Surely he was hurt and angry. His betrothed is pregnant. The baby isn’t his and she’s trying to convince him the child was conceived by the Holy Ghost. How many of us would handle things quietly so as not to disgrace her? How often do we, in our angry and wounded place, lash out, or even go public with our story? Joseph, on the other hand, remains respectful. What an amazing role model!
Matthew tells us that the angel of the Lord appears to Joseph in a dream and discloses God’s plan. As much as I hope I’d have the faith to accept such a divine dream at face value, I wonder if doubt would nag at me. Not Joseph, however. After waking, he takes Mary home as his wife. Joseph placed his trust in faith and through that, he placed his trust in his wife. Can we say the same?
God-Centered Life and Marriage
You might say it’s hard not to keep God at the center of your marriage when your first born is the Messiah. Yet, before young Jesus spoke his first word, Joseph and Mary were faithful. They took their infant son to temple for the purification rites as prescribed by Mosaic Law. Joseph accepts, on blind faith, the instructions of another angel dream to move his infant son and wife to Egypt and later to Nazareth. It’s easy to get caught up in our day-to-day and lose focus on God at the center of our lives and our relationships. Joseph’s faith is an example to us.